who the heck knows anything, anyway

Friday, February 11, 2022

feb 11


I wish I loved baseball. Some people get a lot out of baseball.


It is, by all accounts, a beautiful day today. Cloudless sky, ~66°F, my ideal nice day (t-shirts! light sweatshirts in the shade! no overheating!). Flan happened to need more dry food, so I walked to the pet store. I took a new route, going up an additional few blocks before turning to the side. It felt very strange. The farther you get from the main road/the closer you get to the river, the houses, block-to-block, get nicer. Sure, that's nothing new. I grew up on a dividing line street, and I live on one now. But the street I ended up walking down today didn't used to be quite so fancy, I think. I suppose I temporarily forgot that everything is fancier these days. I've been back for six years, but there are still pockets of childhood places that I haven't seen for a decade, which I've preserved in my memory as being A Certain Way. It was unsettling. I took my usual route home. 

I'm a bit disappointed; this beautiful day could (should) have made me happier. But here I am, feeling...well, not sad, exactly. It's an emotion I'm having trouble identifying. I do think it would be a darker feeling had it been raining. So who knows. Maybe the weather did make me happier. Or maybe my brain chemicals are just flipping out because it's not, historically, supposed to be beautiful in February. (Though it may have been last year, as well? Last March? Time for another year of: Hello, how's your day, how about that weather we've been having, eh?) Regardless of relevance to my walk, specifically, my brain chemicals are definitely having an overall moment. I can feel the test tubes jostling about in there.

Consider the following: People with either type of bipolar aren't supposed to use SAD lamps, and what is a beautiful day if not the world's most perfect SAD lamp? 


We're getting a new guest bed mattress soon. Hoping to tempt friends to stay with us in future months, because a lovely bed is a great bargaining chip. Also useful to have an additional nice mattress when one or both parties who generally share a bed have health issues that could occasionally benefit from having an entire bed to themselves.  

Adulthood: getting excited about mattresses and nights without back pain.


🌞--what up, pdx