who the heck knows anything, anyway

Monday, August 5, 2013


Thinking about ethics, thinking about my personal beliefs, thinking about how much I hate anything phony. Thinking about applying for an office job again, thinking about how I might be judged for this (from both sides), thinking about my "image." Thinking about personal brands, thinking about the hard-won pride I have in my personal identity, thinking about how these things could be perceived as counter in a more conservative workplace. Thinking about how I am still out of touch with the culture of this place, thinking about how I want to be involved in the writing/publishing community but have had no luck thus far, thinking about how I wish I could open a comics shop here. Thinking about money, thinking about the tens of thousands of dollars of debt I am accumulating in pursuit of my graduate degree, thinking about priorities. Thinking about how much I love my Masters program, thinking about the love I get from that community, thinking about how much I want to move to Michigan. Thinking about how much writing I have done in the last few days, thinking about how good that has made me feel, thinking about the fear of never being good enough. Thinking about success, thinking about personal measurement of success, thinking about the Goodness of Art. Thinking about comics, thinking about drawing, thinking about drowning in work I love that I never get paid to do. Thinking about the concept of "work," thinking about how lucky I am to make these choices, thinking about the partner who supports me while I think about these things. Thinking about privilege, thinking about guilt, thinking about Saint Francis of Assisi. 

Thinking, thinking, thinking.