Killian's Blog/Website/Whatever

Tying up all these little loose ends makes me feel nautical. I find myself drawn to pictures of old steam boats, books on tying knots, songs about sailing to the edge of the world. I can hear your chuckles. "Oh, Killian, you silly girl. You're always thinking about the water." That is true. Not a day goes by that I don't catch myself daydreaming about great big bodies of water. Just roll that over on your tongue! Bodies of water. Mmmmm. Positively voluptuous. And maybe a little bit unattainable. Now tell me you don't want to daydream about it, too. But every once in a while, little ol' "spontaneous-isn't-even-in-my-vocabulary" me gets that real hankering for adventure (not to mention manual labor). For the first time in my life, I can satisfy this urge! Granted, it's still me, so I won't be going crazy and catching any plane headed anywhere, but I am moving to Seattle and (instead of finding a "grown up job" i.e. "...

Today, I finished college. I'd say that's worthy of a blog post. It's funny--during my last final (which was actually a writing workshop/portfolio submission hour), things still seemed pretty anticlimactic. Just like every other fall term, you know? Turn things in, say goodbye, run back out into the rainstorm. But NOW I'm feeling it. It doesn't matter that the chances of me going back to school are about 110%-- I will never be a little novice undergrad again . Every class I take from here on out, I take as someone with a bona fide* BA. Any other educational opportunities I get to pursue are icing on the cake! Which is insane. I've paid my dues to Everyone's Expectations. ...Now what? I actually feel a little bit like a grown-up right now. When I drop by my old high school next Friday to give Mr. Joy (The Best High School English Teacher, as well as a top contender for Best Human Being, In General) a hug and show him how well I turned out, I won't just ...

My past twenty four hours have been a bit stressful. First, the bus that was going to take me to the train station passed me by. Daniel and I had to frantically call around for a ride. Thankfully, Jared came through and I got to the station in the nick of time. I had just settled down with my books and a cup of tea, when, two minutes out of Tukwila*, the electricity on the train goes out and we screech to a halt. Forty-five minutes later, it is confirmed that there was "an incident with a trespasser on the rails." I have never been in such close proximity to death before, let alone death caused by the vehicle I was riding in. The crew was great (they handled it really well), but most of the passengers were being so blase about it--it was really distressing. All their jokes about body parts in bags and oh-this-is- soooo -inconvenient really got to me. I still feel pretty off today. My initial reaction was to keep it abstract, like I was watching a TV show (this may be some for...

this term is trying to break me -- Vikings are kind of hard to research. Why is this? Also, I should learn how to read subtext. See image to the right. -- I can only be in the Blue Room at Powells for .4 seconds before I find something I want and, consequently, buy. I went to Powells needing two books on vikings. I left with two books on vikings, two hardcover editions of classics (The Odyssey and Treasure Island, of course), and Colum McCann's book  Let the Great World Spin . Oops! --Earlier today, I jokingly mentioned that I should have looked in a Law section for books relevant to my Icelandic Saga research paper (on "good" men, as perceived by the law and by society). I should have actually checked. Turns out Powells has " U of M Icelandic #03: Laws of Early Iceland, Volume 1: Gragas I" in their General Law section. Ok, so it's actually in their warehouse, but it's generally with the law books. Maybe I should check out the law section some tim...

Disclaimer: I did not watch the second episode of this three-part season. However, I watched the first and even went so far as to take a few notes on the third. Hopefully that makes up for my lack of available time! Episode 1 - A Study In Scarlet: Summary: Disappointed Explication: When we get right down to it, I just don't like this particular modernized version of Sherlock Holmes. It's been done before, and it's been done better (Ex: House and Bones-- the latter being my own comparison, whereas the prior is self-admittedly based upon Doyle's work). But, I thought to myself, perhaps it just suffers from Pilot-Episode-itis? Or maybe it's actually a good show on it's own? If I were to imagine I had never read Sherlock Holmes--if Doyle had never invented him to begin with--would this show be intriguing? Nope. Fail. Before I dig in too hard, I will repeat that I love Martin Freeman. He's lovely in this show, most definitely my favo...

I need to blow this popsicle stand. This crops up every now and again. The restlessness; that trapped, explosive feeling in my heart. School is no longer fulfilling. Sigh. I could say that a million times. Enough of the busy work, the sleepless nights for no reward. I want to read books again. I want cigarettes and a roof to climb on. Good thing I'm moving soon, eh? But, being that this is my current mood, I thought I'd share to two of my favorite Poet/Novelists.When in doubt, I turn to my first true literary loves. *Note, I only used a very small excerpt from Plath's journal. Most of it actually sounded a lot more like how I'm feeling, but I didn't want to (a) focus on the negative or (b) compare my state of mind to Sylvia Plath's, because that never works out very well. Ha. However, I would highly recommend her Unabridged Journals (from 1950-1962)! They are...revelatory. Jack Kerouac: November 4, 1947: "I had to go out and walk in the rain...

When I first saw this promo shot for Sherlock , all I could think was: Oh, Stephen. Doctor and Companion? I suppose, like any director, he has a very definite aesthetic. Too bad he had to turn it to my favorite literary duo. Shouldn't he be focusing his creative efforts on Doctor Who? We all know what happens when a prolific creative mind gets stretched too thin: they might as well start working for Marvel.* But, hey, I won't kick it just yet. Now that it's online for free (thank you, Masterpiece Theater! Remind me to give to Public Broadcasting this year), I might as well give it a whirl. However, I will stipulate that the second Sherlock uses modern technology as a crutch, I will turn it off. Yes, yes, we all love the internet, but Holmes was frickin rad because he basically had the internet in his brain . Also, the guy who plays him looks funny. I like to have crushes on Holmes**--I do not have a crush on this guy. A bit petty of me, perhaps, to base some of my in...

Something I found pretty fascinating about ye olde Icelanders (and viking culture, even more generally) is the level to which they elevate their poets. If a great strong man goes viking*, and then his heart is broken by a sexy lady, it is totally ok for him to go home, cry it out, and write poems about it. In fact, if he wants to retire from the whole fighting business to write/recite poetry full time, he is not discouraged. Though I suppose that's to be expected from a group of people whose epic god, Odin, is the god of poetry and killing people. Also, he looks like Gandalf. Odin is   Keyser Söze  **** I have recently spent almost 200 pages getting acquainted with my first Icelandic Saga: "Egil's Saga." It begins with the story of Egil's grandfather, Kveldulf, who is a shape-shifter (*cough*OdinReference*cough*). Kveldulf (whose name means Night Wolf...because he's a werewolf ) has two sons, Thorolf and Grim. Grim is nicknamed Skallagrim, because he'...

I seem to have developed a Coldergy. Unsure of whether I have Seasonal Sneezes or Cautious Congestion, I have spent the past few days sounding like Homestar Runner and fretting about school/work/THE FUTURE in a slight-but-ultimately-distracting fog. Despite this, I was able to write a checklist of every assignment from this Monday up until Veterans Day*; write two papers; read four online articles; fill out a silly form; and even read an adapted fairytale (this one was for pleasure). And that's just the homework! Also, perk to being Under the Weather: Daniel makes me nummy lentil soup. Sadly, I do not foresee myself recovering quickly. For one thing, I don't sleep very much. Last week was my first without nightmares in over a month, but that may have been because, up until this weekend, the Czuba Family Zoo was keeping me up all night. I have grown accustomed to sleeping with the dryer running and a pillow over my head. Second, people keep adding stress to my bucket. My str...

Today, I was feeling a bit unmotivated. The walls in the apartment were (note: ARE) too white, the sky outside was too grey, etc. It was just sort of a bunk day. And though I have, since my point of creative departure this morning, changed my story,* I spent most of my afternoon doodling. Which is code for making Pok é mon versions of myself and Daniel after seeing this . So, behold! Me as a Pok é mon: My attacks aim true Yeah, those are guns on its back And Daniel, as not so much a Pok é mon as "li'l danil: astronaut": Those are tea-shooting cannons on that third one As I said, I also got some actual work done today. Well, I think I did. There is no really good Instruction Manual for Doing Writing the Right Way, so I may be on the right track, or I may be stumbling around a dark room, hitting the garbage disposal instead of the light switch. Only time will tell! PS The closest you will ever get to an Instruction Manual for Doing Writing the Right Way is...

Up until about three days ago, I was about seventy-five pages deep into a novel I had been working on for three and a half years. Sure, that doesn't seem like a whole lot, but I've cut huge chunks out, re-written it time and time again, and was finally picking up some steam on it. And I loved some of the later parts. The beginning, though, drove me absolutely batty (as most things I wrote at age nineteen are wont to do), and there was just no fixing it. At first, I was going to try re-writing the first paragraph blindly and go from there. But that led to me realizing that I want to scrap huge plot points that I think are dumb. That left me with starting over completely. Which is what I have done. Don't worry, I archived the old stuff. I'm not getting rid of it. But the usable bits are pretty insignificant. Fortunately, in the span of two days, I smashed out about 1,300 words, and they are more to my liking. But now I'm hitting that What's Next? wall. The chara...

I think I may increasingly be a fan of Federal Government (Sorry, T-Jeff). This may sound odd, because I have never been a fan of The Man, and federal government is about as Man-ful as it gets. However, I love organization and, though I'm sure it's drowning in its own bureaucratic nonsense, I imagine the consistency offered by it (at its most ideal, mind you) would make jobs like the one I currently have MUCH easier. Before the days of the internet, I would probably be a Power to the States girl. But the internet has proven to me that the Texas Medical Board has it way more together than the Oregon Medical Board, and this is disheartening. There goes my state pride. But if EVERY state had to meet certain searchable board requirements, I would be The Happiest. Because I am researching on medical boards across the country all day long, and it is a headache and a half to try to find a license for an emergency transportation organization in about 46/50 states. (this is Thoma...

Somehow, I forgot to re-cap my full TA experience. So here it is. (I'll try to keep it short and sweet) The class was only four weeks long (as summer classes are occasionally wont to be), so right about the time people were starting to get all warmed up to the idea of Magic Realism*, the term went kaput. Their presentations went amazingly well, though, and I don't know how the papers turned out (those weren't my responsibility to grade, Thank Heavens) but I would guess they were, at least, chock full o' heart. Grading was an extremely humbling experience. It simultaneously enlightened me (some of my students truly blew my mind with their input) and depleted my faith in humanity (out of twenty students, only two got A's, and I was being generous. Those two deserved it, definitely, but the people who didn't get there have absolutely no excuse. They never asked for help or extensions). I tried the best I could to give them the benefit of the doubt, but some r...

Just to get us started on the same page: this is A List. As in a singular list, not my A-List of whatever. This is important, because I will, in fact, be engaging in a brief discussion of Things I Have a Habit of Doing That End Up Being a Bit Stupid, Though Otherwise Harmless. Engage : 1. Listening to the Les Miserables Soundtrack at Work. This is not a very swell idea for anyone who has issues with The Man or, more precisely, their manager. If you and your coworkers are prone to cracking halfhearted jokes about celebrating Bastille Day in the office, it doesn't matter how much you want to listen to Javert serenade you with "Stars." Resist the temptation, or else you'll find yourself sobbing gently behind your softly-glowing monitor while Fantine takes away all of your hope in humanity. 2. Watching Sad Movies By Myself I thought that watching the Shawshank Redemption in the kitchen while awaiting out-of-town company was a one-time mistake--and one necessitate...

Instead of starting on my last paper of the term, I decided to look up DIY projects that might be more fun/distracting than just reading for the nth day in a row*.  First of all, this is kind of depressing: Irony: Oregon's Favorite Pastime But then I found what I was looking for . I'm putting it up here (a) because it's the coolest and (b) because I want Daniel to help me make one sometime. Probably not an easy project to dive into today, but whatever! Also on the docket** today, viewing Pt. 2 of Собака Баскервилей ( The Hound of the Baskervilles )! I'm pretty pumped about watching some more of these next weekend, as well. In fact, I would not doubt a repeat viewing of Baskervilles, (a) because Daniel needs to see it and (b) because Watson is way too good in it. I almost added a spoiler, but I refrained. Just keep an eye out for the ending scene on Pt. 1. You can thank me later. Vitaly Solomin plays Surrogate Detective  Seriously, I...

If I were Julie Andrews a la Sound of Music , these are things I would sing about, in addition to paper and strudel: 1. Sherlok Kholms I Doktor Vatson (I technically watched episode 2 of Priklyucheniya Sherloka Kholmsa I Doktora Vatsona, circa 1980 ) . This is most definitely in the running for Coolest Depiction of Sherlock Holmes, Pretty Much Ever. It's shot largely on location in old Russian towns, complete with broody lighting and plush yellow fainting couches. A-mazing. Plus, I honestly challenge you to find a better Sherlock/Watson pair than Vasili Livanov and Vitali Solomin. Ok, aside from Rupert Everett and Ian Hart (if you haven't had the honor yet, please watch this movie ). People are usually partial to a particular kind of Holmes, and though I find Jeremy Brett quite charming (he seems to be the Fan Fave among many an aficionado), he can be a bit too manic for my tastes. Rupert Everett is a bit more subdued, but ever the charming egotist. Fab. However--and I be...

Being a TA is pretty cool, man. First of all, and most importantly (for me, at least): there's none of that subconscious effort to compete with one's peers. I mean, I'm an authority figure here. Not to say that I would ever abuse that privilege (because that just ain't my style), but it relieves one from a lot of stress*. Plus, the class I'm helping out in is not only my favorite genre of literature, but one that I have done a lot of critical thinking/research about. When I talked about Pedro Paramo in class today, I was imparting knowledge** . And then I told everyone to reallytrulyabsolutely read it because Gael Garcia Bernal has been cast in the soon-to-be movie version, and you sure as hell want to see that. Seriously. Hottest film ever. Another thing I love about TA-ing (aside from how awesomely not-frightening it is****) hearkens back to that zero-competition thing I mentioned. Some of the people in the class have AMAZING passion for literature, and som...